ACCOUNT OF MY DAYS
Sequence: 3
THIS IS THE EIGHTH ATTEMPT
no help coming from my former self
trying harder is no help
trying to forget about it the same for
there can be no end to trying
that has always been what I am like
I don't know what I would find at the end of trying
someone I am not yet I guess
what comes easily as it comes easily
remains the least mine
I can do nothing about this
but rely on what I know
and what I know is that words
are both thing and idea or
neither idea nor thing
I know they don't love themselves
they love whatever they are not
I know I am writing to you
always to you or towards you
for what you can make of it (everything)
and I know where you are
is where who I am not yet rests
I know at birth the words
were stacked within me
and I keep reaching lower
and to the side and there's no way
to reach bottom I am always finding
ending behind ending
ever after ever