12/15/11 rain all night storming on the roof then after sunrise a heavy cloud cover gusty wind I put the large compost pile together out of smaller piles of leaves mid-december day that looks like april the sky briefly half-clears while the wind settles to a breeze by noon thick clouds again and off and on rain violence is shameful and fascinating evolution and history pressing on us from the past but we have choices too and choices imply reason though there was never any reason that could explain it and we are left to sort it out as best we can