EYEBROWS
you can see your mustach...

IMPOSSIBLE
the politician must have a...

10/11
creeping naked around a church...

SUMMIT
after i cut...

9/27
She liked TV, it was everything to...

SPORTS
baseball on unsanctified ground...

PERSONAL
you're right, tom--even the...

Dear Eric,

This is to notify you that--but what's the use? You with your sloppy 
ways have already tossed this where you think it belongs, in the garbage 
with the tuna can torn open in a state of hunger. And down there, in the 
trashbag, underneath the coffee grounds and next to that despised bill, 
ignored like the used Kleenex or the junk mail, this letter will sit 
till doomsday or the trash goes out.

Open me. Rip my pasted lip wide. Think twice about dumping every piece of 
mail today with the eggshells, the used-up wine bottles, the spoiled meat 
and the bones.

This is to notify you that another chance is gone. What you would have 
gotten you'll never know.

The Awards Committee