REFUSAL TO MAKE MUSIC I have lost my ears the silence is so large in them where I am led there will my silence go my silence won't overwhelm me it is the rest of me joined to the rest of others an ocean stretching far from the smashing rocks full silence has an underlife where I recover my salty nature where I drown the fish seek out my ribs I am inhabited by their silence and the little strokes that move them through my chest the rest between waves is silent my heart has a silent moment if the old hollows of my eyes fill with silence the tears wash them with a music that does not have to be made