ACCOUNT OF MY DAYS
Sequence: 4
TO PASS THE TIME
I thought of pretending it was 35 years ago but I couldn't
the light of that year is 35 light years away now
the happiness and unhappiness of it have been stirred together
the dead of that year have all been honored by their survivors
the music that sounded through it has gone through the air
around the earth many times
the shame and violence and fine meals and embraces are only
stories retold retold
not one day of it can be recalled in full
only some mornings and some evenings unrelated to each other
come to mind
was I at my height? fallen to my depth?
it is better not to pretend I said to myself
now is not 35 years ago but only now does it seem terrible
and wonderful
the depth of it below me holds me up
from this height I hover over it seeing the beauty of its shape
I am there or a younger I is there amongst the blurred details
though I can't land I can at least keep flying
or rather because I can't land I must keep flying